A Magnet Hung in a Hardware Shop
by King in Yellow
Summary: The title is taken from a song in Patience, and plot device lifted from The Sorcerer, but no knowledge of Gilbert & Sullivan required. A tribute to Neo the Saiyan angel's frenzy for odd pairings. This is so NOT Best Enemies universe.


Boilerplate Disclaimer: The characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. All trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage

A Magnet Hung in a Hardware Shop comes from Patience, a magnet attracts object - but isn't attracted to them. The love potion is lifted from The Sorcerer.

**Magnetic Attraction **

"Why does the Doom-Vee3 need spots for two cigarette lighters?" Drakken demanded. "I don't even smoke."

"'Cause ya need one for the cell phone charger, one for the GPS, and one for the DVD player… Hey, we need to put in three cigarette lighters, seriously," Motor Ed responded.

Shego rolled her eyes in disgust and left the shop to check the monitors, the high-tech materials the cousins had been stealing should insure Princess and Monkey-boy came crashing in soon to stop Dumb and Dumber. Shego cracked her knuckles, the frequent indecisive battles with the redhead were annoying - today the cheerleader would lose big.

Shego would have one of her wishes granted. The silent alarm on air duct number two had been tripped.

Ed took a break in the shop as Drakken installed the laser death ray. "And make sure ya aim it forward," he reminded his cousin. "The Doom-Vee2 would have been a sweet ride."

"I meant it that way," Drakken snarled, "to take out pursuers! I just, ah, didn't have it aimed right."

Ed glanced around the shop, not as good as his garage - but the police had his place under surveillance. The evil mechanical genius noticed an act of sacrilege - a six-pack with a single can gone in the rubbish bin. He pulled a can from the plastic ring, "Yo, Cuz, why are the brewskis in file thirteen?"

"Throw that out!" Drakken yelled, "it's dangerous!"

Ed peered at the label: Improved Love-Philtre. Better living through magic since 1835.

J. W. Well's Brewing  
#70 Simmery Axe.  
London

Ed snorted, _"Damn, the English brew good stuff. He's probably just too much of a wuss to appreciate good beer."_ "Hey, Cuz, I'm gonna check on the green lady."

The big man popped the can open as he lumbered down a poorly lit corridor, he didn't even see Ron, agonizing in the shadows. Kim had told him to locate Drakken while she fought Shego. They had not expected Motor Ed. Should he go back to help or find Drakken? He decided to stop Drakken; that usually proved easy. He suspected Kim would have both Shego and Ed defeated by the time he got back.

* * *

"Whoa! Cat fight," Ed grinned when he found the two women.

"Stay back, you mullet-headed Neanderthal," Shego yelled as she threw plasma at Kim, "I'm taking the cheerleader down all by myself."

"You're dreaming," Kim taunted, ducking under the attack and aiming a flying kick that her adversary dodged.

Ed drained the can as he watched, _"Huh, stuff is a little dodgy."_

Neither woman could get in any solid blows, but Kim only partially blocked a side kick which sent her stumbling back into Ed. He grabbed her arm, "Got her for ya," he called.

"I said, leave her alone," Shego snarled, "she's not getting any excuses for losing today!" The pale woman aimed a plasma burst at his head. He hurriedly dropped Kim's arm.

Both women panted with exertion from their battle. Instead of returning to the fight, however, Kim turned to Motor Ed. She ran a hand softly over his bicep, "You're so strong," she cooed, "I just love strong men."

Ed grinned, convinced that all women felt that way about him. It was curious, however, how few would admit it.

Shego stared, stunned and unable to believe what she saw and heard. Then she noticed the can in his hand. _ "Oh, God, not that!"_ The green woman took a deep breath, held it, and tackled Kim. She threw the cheerleader over her shoulder and headed down a hall.

For the first few few feet, while Shego still held her breath, Kim's hands beat on Shego's back. "Put me down! I want him."

Halfway to Shego's quarters Kim's voice changed when she begged, "Put me down, please."

"Why?" Shego panted. "You going back to him?"

"No, but I'll run with you - faster than you carrying me."

Shego dropped Kim. After getting to Shego's room the green woman ordered, "Stand against the far wall," as she quickly locked the door before joining Kim against the far wall.

"What the hell was that about?" Motor Ed wondered, staring down the hall where the two women had disappeared. Puzzled he returned to the shop, where he found his cousin, Drakken, and Kim's sidekick - whose name he couldn't remember - ineffectually slapping at each other.

* * *

"Thanks," Kim gasped. "You saved me."

"No problem," Shego replied, struggling to catch her breath, "you'd have done the same for me."

"What happened?"

"Love potion Drakken ordered. Look, I'll pound the snot out of you next time I see you - but I want you in your right mind when I kick your butt. You won't get any excuses."

Kim almost asked, "You and what army?" but decided to maintain the truce for a moment. "How long do we have to stay here?"

"Hours, probably. That stuff's really dangerous."

"Dangerous?"

Shego shuddered, "Trust me, Pumpkin, you don't want to know."

* * *

Ed picked up Ron by the collar and held him at arm's length, "Got him, Cuz."

"No need," Drakken lied, "I had him defeated."

"Oh yeah, sure you…" Ron began, then squirmed around to face Ed, "Wow, I really love your cologne," he said softly.

"And your lovely warm, brown eyes," Drakken added.

A pink head, with lust-filled black eyes, popped out of Ron's pocket, "Uh… hair," Rufus chattered.

* * *

Ed's scream echoed through the lair.

Kim grew pale. "The horror!" Shego whispered.


End file.
